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I’ve literally been sitting here for a very literal hour trying to come up with a fun theme for this week’s Japanese hardware sales feature, but you know what? I can’t. I just can’t. I’m suffering from the most vile form of writer’s block I’ve ever succumbed to — not because there’s a lack of ideas in my brainmeat, but because there is one idea so prevalent in my brainmeat that there’s no room for any others: Shots.

Not the actual drinks themselves, mind you — we’re talking about the song from up-and-coming party rock outfit LMFAO, featuring, naturally, Lil’ Jon. Yes, the song is like, a half-year old. Yes, it has made us incapable of doing anything but singing its heart-rousing chorus, which goes: “Shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots.” They say you can get a song out of your head by singing it backwards; a strategy which Shots‘ palindromic nature renders useless.

There’s got to be some way to tie this into Japanese hardware sales. Oh, how about this: Man, everyone’s profits must be shot. Shot. Shot, shot shot. Shot shot shot shot shot. Everybody. (’s profits.)

- PSP: 39,125 25,683 (39.63%)
- Wii: 31,460 2,420 (7.14%)
- PS3: 26,481 2,343 (8.13%)
- DSi LL: 21,604 2,007 (8.50%)
- DSi: 13,581 1,436 (9.56%)
- DS Lite: 3,920 396 (9.18%)
- Xbox 360: 2,668 96 (3.47%)
- PS2: 1,825 14 (0.76%)
- PSP Go: 1,191 84 (6.59%)

[Source: Media Create]

Read: The up-and-coming archives

Japanese hardware sales, March 9 – 14: Shots edition originally appeared on Joystiq on Sun, 21 Mar 2010 21:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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German and British people, it’s time for free stuff! The fine fellows at Telltale Games are giving away free episodes of Strong Bad’s Cool Game for Attractive People in both of your respective countries. Residents of either country who own a Wii simply have to fill out a survey and they get the game.

The survey is all about fun things like videogames and other forms of entertainment so it’s super easy to take. The running time is about ten minutes, but I bet you can finish it faster. I’ve got faith in your ability to speed read.

Once you’ve defeated the survey and its remains lay before you, you will receive the second chapter of the Strong Bad games, titled “Strong Badia the Free.” They’ll send it to you over the internet, so make sure you have your friend code at the ready.

Telltale offers free Wii Strong Bad game [CVG]

Listen, when the zombie apocalypse comes you’re not going to make it out alive. There’s a flowchart to prove it. Game Informer tossed this guy together to illustrate the many ways that a videogame zombie apocalypse will kill you.

Survival really isn’t an option when it comes down to the dead rising. Even if you don’t die you’ll just be going to a sequel where you will. The only choice you really have is how it’s going to end. I think going out in a blaze of lifeless-corpse destroying glory is better than being woken up from a cryogenic sleep and then being eaten by the space zombies wandering your now abandoned ship.

The best part of this flowchart isn’t the sarcastic commentary on videogame tropes, it’s the fact that it actually works in Plants vs. Zombies.

Will You Survive the Undead Apocalypse? [Game Informer]

Rather than play that silly old full-motion video arcade game with motorbikes — you know, that one that only exists in the trailer above? — the latest video from developer RedLynx encourages you to pick up Trials HD instead and hop right in to the level creation tools. Beyond the initially jarring brutal crashes and eviscerations, the latter half of the clip displays the subtle elegance at players’ disposal should they master the physics-based controls to the pixel-perfect precision the game asks of its users (we’re especially impressed by the double front flip). And though we haven’t seen any DLC for Trials HD since the last one in late December, it’s good to see the developer supporting its game so long after release. But let’s be honest here — we’d could always use some more DLC.

Trials HD trailer displays disasters and triumphs of player-created content originally appeared on Joystiq on Sun, 21 Mar 2010 17:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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